Recently an article has been causing quite a stir amongst the beauty industry. Basically some person decided to attack the skincare industry and say it’s a crock of shit. I took personal offense and I’ll tell you why. I haven’t seen a picture of this (rude) person, I’m going to guess they’re young and have perfect skin. They probably see the industry as like anti-feminist and think we should celebrate, like, inner beauty, and the industry is praying on our insecurties. I don’t know, I didn’t read the article. But based on the think pieces this article caused, I’m going to guess that’s about right.
This person couldn’t be more wrong. If it was makeup, yeah I could see her point. She’s still wrong, but I could at least see where she’s coming from. However, as a person who has Bad Skin™, I can personally sing praises to the skincare industry. Sure, I’ve struggled to find the right skincare regime, and probably spent too much money on a product that has pretty packaging (i’m looking at you Glossier and Sunday Riley), but at 25 years of age I think I’ve finally gotten things under control. And while my age now is bringing a new category of skincare (hey, anti-aging, hayyyy) to my attention, I have finally gotten my acne under control. My skin isn’t perfect, but literally nothing about me is, and that’s what facetune is for.
Not that anyone asked, but I’m going to give you my skincare routine, because if I can help someone find the miracle product they’ve been praying for, then by god, like L’oreal, it’s worth it.
First up is my most precious item in my skincare arsenal, and it is La Roche Posay Medicated Gel Cleanser. It’s French. But I get it at Target. For some reason you can’t buy this exact one in the UK so I just buy like 3 bottles of the stuff when I’m home and cry when I run out. My back up is this cleanser by the same brand. It’s alright and does the job but it’s just not the same.
La Roche Posay Medicated Gel Cleanser Target$14.99
Then I slather my face in Solution by Glossier. All the experts say you should use an acid peel if you have Bad Skin™, and this one is very user friendly compared to others. Just squirt some on a cotton pad and scrub your face for Jesus.
Solution Glossier £19
Next up is a serum. I use Glossier’s Super Pack of serums, and I particularly like Super Glow which is their Vitamin C one. I just purchased The Ordinary’s Granactive Retinoid 2% Emulsion, because I’m old and need a retinol now, and Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5, because my face doesn’t like to stay hydrated, so stay tuned to see if they’re any good.
The Supers Glossier £60 for all 3 or £24 individually
Then I use Embryolisse Lait-Crème Concentré. It’s also French. As you can see I like French, or French sounding things. The French also all have nice skin despite living off of crossiants and cigarettes solely. Anyway, all the models use this, and if I can’t be a model then I will at least live like one. But I love this moisturizer, it’s thick enough for the winter, yet light enough for the summer, and never makes me greasy, which is a Catholic Church recognized miracle (not really, but it should be).
Embryolisse Lait-Crème Concentré Boots £13
I sometimes use Olay Eyes Ultimate Eyes eye cream as well. If I remember. It’s my first venture into the anti-aging world. I don’t know if it actually does anything, but it doesn’t not do anything, so I keep using it.
Olay Eyes Ultimate Eyes Boots £16.66
I finish off with Glossiers Invisible Shield sunscreen. This is probably the most important thing, because the sun ages you, and this particular product also protects against pollution which is very important if you live in a city. Even European ones which are less gross than US cities. I like that this is SPF 30, because anymore doesn’t really protect you any extra and any less and you might as well not bother
Invisible Shield Glossier £20
Occasionally, when my skin is looking extra disgusting, I pump it up withNeutrogena Hydro Boost Moisturizing Overnight Face Mask. You’re supposed to use it as an overnight face mask, but I’m bad at listening to directions. I slather this stuff on my face, and it makes the fine lines that I have because I’m a terrible person and don’t drink enough water, just disappear. I can only find this in the states but its so cheap I can afford to buy a bunch when I’m home.
Neutrogena Hydro Boost Moisturizing Overnight Face Mask Wal-Mart $2.50
The only diffence between my AM and PM routine is that I use a different serum. I use Kiehl’s Midnight Recovery Concentrate, because a bunch of rich people use it, and my ultimate goal is to have Rich Girl Skin™. I don’t know if it really makes a difference, but I’ve been using it for so long at this point, I’m too afraid to stop.
Kiehl’s Midnight Recovery Concentrate Kiehl’s £38
I also use Target brand 10% Benzoyl Peroxide gel if I have a pimple. I put a big ol’ glop of it on the pimple personally attacking my pursuit of happiness, and leave it on over night and hope it dies. It never does completely, but it usually looks better by the morning. I use this last, but after my moisturizer has settled in a bit. I also skip the SPF, because I am unaware of anyone getting sunburned from the moon. I also stock up on these every time I go home. I get into a lot of trouble at Target as you can tell.
10% Benzoyl Peroxide gel Target $3.49
Also every other evening I use the Amazon Clay Mask which is getting it’s own special post soon, because it’s really amazing and it just gets out every bit of gunk from your face.
But that’s about it! No fancy 27-step Koren skincare routine here, just the tried and true products that take my bad skin to ok skin, and sometimes even good skin for a couple days a month. But then I usally get a pimple that ruins my life. I’m only human.